8:30am: Wake up to neighbor noisily throwing recyclables into the bins by window.
10:05am: Get out of bed. Realize nails are starting to look like Howard Hughes' or Halle Berry' circa B*A*P*S.
10:17am: Begin frantic search for nail clippers; find only the small ones. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!!?
12:15 Get robo-call from political campaign. Yell and swear at robot and feel like a big man.
12:18pm: Boyfriend asks "Did you just yell at a robo-call? Act coy.
1:26pm: Find food scraps in the building's recycling bin; yell "Come on, neighbors! We're trying to have a society here!". Hope it was the noisy-bin neighbor; hope that that neighbor is currently trying to nap.
1:34pm: Eat healthy "meal" of carrots and celery right out of the bag because, hey, washing and peeling are for suckers. I mean that is just what the Dial soap and infectious disease medication lobbies want you to do.
1:36pm: Growl at boyfriend when he reaches for a bite of celery. Feel sort of guilty about it.
3:07pm: Go to bathroom, make half-assed attempt to close the door. Realize while on the toilet that not caring if the door open means your love is real.
3:08pm FIND NAIL CLIPPER UNDER HAIRBRUSH!!!
3:15pm: Nails now look like Halle Berry's circa New Year's Eve.
3:20pm: Wonder whether it is weird to contemplate love on the toilet.