The most wonderful thing about the internet is neither the democratization of content creation nor the abundance of cute animal GIFs. It's not even the plethora of free pornography. Nay, the best thing about the existence of THE INTERNET is that it allows me natter on about the trivial details of my day! HOOORAY! BEHOLD, THE MIGHTY WONDERS OF THE INANITY OF MY EXISTENCE!
8:30am: Wake up to neighbor noisily throwing recyclables into the bins by window.
10:05am: Get out of bed. Realize nails are starting to look like Howard Hughes' or Halle Berry' circa B*A*P*S.
10:17am: Begin frantic search for nail clippers; find only the small ones. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!!?
12:15 Get robo-call from political campaign. Yell and swear at robot and feel like a big man.
12:18pm: Boyfriend asks "Did you just yell at a robo-call? Act coy.
1:26pm: Find food scraps in the building's recycling bin; yell "Come on, neighbors! We're trying to have a society here!". Hope it was the noisy-bin neighbor; hope that that neighbor is currently trying to nap.
1:34pm: Eat healthy "meal" of carrots and celery right out of the bag because, hey, washing and peeling are for suckers. I mean that is just what the Dial soap and infectious disease medication lobbies want you to do.
1:36pm: Growl at boyfriend when he reaches for a bite of celery. Feel sort of guilty about it.
3:07pm: Go to bathroom, make half-assed attempt to close the door. Realize while on the toilet that not caring if the door open means your love is real.
3:08pm FIND NAIL CLIPPER UNDER HAIRBRUSH!!!
3:15pm: Nails now look like Halle Berry's circa New Year's Eve.
3:20pm: Wonder whether it is weird to contemplate love on the toilet.
8:30am: Wake up to neighbor noisily throwing recyclables into the bins by window.
10:05am: Get out of bed. Realize nails are starting to look like Howard Hughes' or Halle Berry' circa B*A*P*S.
10:17am: Begin frantic search for nail clippers; find only the small ones. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?!!?
12:15 Get robo-call from political campaign. Yell and swear at robot and feel like a big man.
12:18pm: Boyfriend asks "Did you just yell at a robo-call? Act coy.
1:26pm: Find food scraps in the building's recycling bin; yell "Come on, neighbors! We're trying to have a society here!". Hope it was the noisy-bin neighbor; hope that that neighbor is currently trying to nap.
1:34pm: Eat healthy "meal" of carrots and celery right out of the bag because, hey, washing and peeling are for suckers. I mean that is just what the Dial soap and infectious disease medication lobbies want you to do.
1:36pm: Growl at boyfriend when he reaches for a bite of celery. Feel sort of guilty about it.
3:07pm: Go to bathroom, make half-assed attempt to close the door. Realize while on the toilet that not caring if the door open means your love is real.
3:08pm FIND NAIL CLIPPER UNDER HAIRBRUSH!!!
3:15pm: Nails now look like Halle Berry's circa New Year's Eve.
3:20pm: Wonder whether it is weird to contemplate love on the toilet.
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