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"an anne frank diary in a lisa frank notebook"
- plato

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Animals Be Shoppin'!

11/25/2011

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Oh hey guys, Black Friday! Wooo! The day in which the absolute worst aspect of humanity are trotted out for capture by an atypically watchful media! WOOOOOOOOOoooT!! This year brought out gun-totin' in the East and pepper sprayin' in the West. And all across America, our Facebook walls were filled with the self-important comparisons to Occupy Wall Street and/or explanations of useless crap bought on Facebook walls:  "So itz ok to camp outside stoeres when u buy somethin? Occupy WS 5eva! Also bought sum super cute booootz!" 

I can't take this fake holiday. I can't take it even more than I can't take all the other, slightly less fake holidays. The other fake holidays at least coat their marketability and profiteering with a thin veneer of legitimate human emotion. This fake holiday has no redeeming qualities. This fake holiday is like a spoiled-ass only child, whining for attention from the grown-ups who are just trying to have a nice conversation about Pakistan and the Euro zone crisis so will you please SHUT UP little Melissa? 

Anway, Black Friday is dumb and any mentions of it in the press that do not include pictures of animals posed as if they were shopping are dumber still. Therefore, I humbly submit to you Animals Be Shoppin': A Gallery. It is quite literally the best Black Friday coverage that has ever existed. Pictures after the jump. 
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