Yo I heard the dumbest thing on the radio today. There's apparently some farm in upstate New York where you can buy a turkey. But when you buy this turkey, you don't take it home to eat it. You don't even take it home to let it strut around your yard, staring blankly and gobbling at nothing particular. This turkey stays on the freakin' farm and once a year, you go to this farm and you feed the turkey. Whaaaaaat? Is this like, Bizarro Turkey farm? Is this a turkey farm from some Yakov Smirnoff punchline? Is this some alternate universe turkey farm where turkeys are in charge and they run for turkey congress and in turkey middle school they read books such as Human Farm by acclaimed author George Orwattle?
Yakov sez: "I also would have accepted 'George Boarwell.' What a country!"
Seriously though, what a weird concept. It's not weird that people don't want to eat turkeys, or even that they want to create a little haven for turkeys in upstate New York. It's the ceremony of feeding them an elaborate meal that includes fancy salad, pumpkin pie, and decorative squash centerpieces. This sounds like some Egyptian cat-worship shit, and we all know how well THAT turned out. For those that don't know: it did not turn out well.
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Works on contingency? No! Money down!