LARD, how are they greased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me and my cooking.
Butter thou, O LARD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
I cried unto the LARD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill.
I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LARD sustained me.
PSALM OIL CHAPTER 2 VERSE 11
Serve the LARD with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when you did not use enough salt to preserve the saltpork
PSALM OIL CHAPTER 23
The LARD is my shepherd, I shall not want dinner.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of vegetarian options, I will fear no tofu, for you are with me; thy ham and thy side dishes comfort me
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with monounsaturated fats; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy and high cholesterol shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LARD for ever.
YO THIS CHURCH IS WEIRRRRD