Well well well, remember way back when I first told you about the new hitt Funvention Korner? YOU didn't think it was feasible. You're such a doubting Thomas!
Thomas you may eat your ugly hat, because the idea was clearly a success from the beginning. We still have not raised Kitty Carlisle from the dead but we remain very positive that once we do, she will be thrilled to host. In the meantime, ideas for new inventions are coming in constantly all the time 24-7. In a moment you will read about one of the most exciting ideas that is guaranteed to change the way we eat, forever. that will BLOW YOUR MIND and HOPEFULLY ALSO YOUR FOOD BUDGET.
I was driving by a Whole Foods and noticed how awful busy it was. Seems like there are more and more Whole Foodseses popping up more and more every day. Seems as though everybody is into looking like they eat healthy these days! And I'd estimate that at least 50 percent of those healthy eatin' jerks are going gluten-free. Did I say jerks, because I meant POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS!
It seems like I can't shake a stick two feet without running into a gluten-free jerk- I mean potential customer! These poor schlubs must get awfully tired of the limited alternatives to wheat that currently exist. I've come up with an amazing new bread replacement product that sounds so similar to wheat, these jerks, I mean potential customers, won't even know they're not eating wheat! Introducing:
WETA BREAD: The Only Wheatless Bread With the Name That Makes You Think There is Wheat In It! (tm)
Maybe the slogan needs work. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! And Rome was VERY profitable! I mean, just think of all the amazing products we can make that the word 'Weta" will just slide right into:
WETA BRAN
WETA THINS
WETA BITES
WETABITS
WETABLES
WETAGURT
CREAM OF WETA
WETAGURT: For Kids!
Oh, what is a Weta, you ask?
Thomas you may eat your ugly hat, because the idea was clearly a success from the beginning. We still have not raised Kitty Carlisle from the dead but we remain very positive that once we do, she will be thrilled to host. In the meantime, ideas for new inventions are coming in constantly all the time 24-7. In a moment you will read about one of the most exciting ideas that is guaranteed to change the way we eat, forever. that will BLOW YOUR MIND and HOPEFULLY ALSO YOUR FOOD BUDGET.
I was driving by a Whole Foods and noticed how awful busy it was. Seems like there are more and more Whole Foodseses popping up more and more every day. Seems as though everybody is into looking like they eat healthy these days! And I'd estimate that at least 50 percent of those healthy eatin' jerks are going gluten-free. Did I say jerks, because I meant POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS!
It seems like I can't shake a stick two feet without running into a gluten-free jerk- I mean potential customer! These poor schlubs must get awfully tired of the limited alternatives to wheat that currently exist. I've come up with an amazing new bread replacement product that sounds so similar to wheat, these jerks, I mean potential customers, won't even know they're not eating wheat! Introducing:
WETA BREAD: The Only Wheatless Bread With the Name That Makes You Think There is Wheat In It! (tm)
Maybe the slogan needs work. But hey, Rome wasn't built in a day! And Rome was VERY profitable! I mean, just think of all the amazing products we can make that the word 'Weta" will just slide right into:
WETA BRAN
WETA THINS
WETA BITES
WETABITS
WETABLES
WETAGURT
CREAM OF WETA
WETAGURT: For Kids!
Oh, what is a Weta, you ask?
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