Not a lot of intro today, because I want to get right to it. Also I have to leave in approximately ten minutes in order to go teach children. As is always the case before I go change the lives of today's youth, I'm going to write a bunch of filth. Yes, it's the latest installment of my genre-smashing sensuo-comic "Ewritica" MASTERPIECE ChuckleSluts: A Sexy Story About Sex. The previous chapter is here; if you need more help than that, I'm not the gal to give it to you. At least not today.
As always, an arbitrary picture of something so you won't feel cheated if you don't feel that you can't safely read more after the jump.
As always, an arbitrary picture of something so you won't feel cheated if you don't feel that you can't safely read more after the jump.
Can YOU see Jesus' face in this dog's butthole?
CHUCKLESLUTS: A Sexy Story About Sex
Chapter 5: Two Ladies of Ver-Bone-a
Chapter 5: Two Ladies of Ver-Bone-a
Crystal had just signed up for the Open Mic. Or had she?
Crystal and Todd frenched at it. They frenched and frenched so much that the people around them started to crave voting for Francois Hollande. All around them, bread was turning into baguettes and movies were turning into recordings of people smoking and complaining.
Crystal pulled away from Todd's soft and pliant lèvres de humid just long enough to moan, "Is that the Eiffel Tower in your pants, or are you just experiencing penis ossification?" Todd laughed, and also, cried.
Suddenly, they were interrupted! The woman at the sign up table called out "Crys? Is there someone named Crys?" She looked around and saw Todd and Crystal, and remembered that Crystal had just written the letters C, R, Y, and S, in that order. She stared at the young comedian, mentally undoing her scarf. Then she asked, "Are you Crys?"
"Close. It's Crystal, but I only got halfway through writing it before I got really distracted," Crystal replied.
"I'd say you got DICKstracted," Todd chimed in, with the comedic timing of a nude Henny Youngman.
Crystal laughed, her nipples hardening like cheese left in the fridge unwrapped. She felt them poke against her clothes, like two baby chicks trying to be born right where here boobs were. Two breast chicks poking their way out of her shirt egg with their nipple beaks. Crystal squeezed her nipple beaks, pushing and pulling them like a farmer who wasn't sure whether to help the baby chicks out of the egg or suffocate them on the spot.
The open mic sign up lady watched Crystal mush her boobs all around and thought about her own boobs. Her boobs were there, on her chest, yearning for the touch of either a man or woman, really anybody with opposable thumbs. She began to sweat under her nurse's costume, a costume she wore to run an Open Mic sign up at a comedy club because it totally made sense, that's why. The nurse's crotch began to get hot and approachable. She began to roll up her skirt to expose it to some nice dry air so that it could evaporate, because it was moist with wetness. Crystal noticed the effect she was having on the sexual nurse and also Todd, who had forgotten to say anything for a while because he was trying to think of a follow-up pun. But now his eyes were fully focused on Crystal and then also on this other lady, her name didn't matter, because it was looking like two chicks might start doing at it.
Next time on ChuckleSluts: Are Two Chicks Going to Doing At It?
Crystal and Todd frenched at it. They frenched and frenched so much that the people around them started to crave voting for Francois Hollande. All around them, bread was turning into baguettes and movies were turning into recordings of people smoking and complaining.
Crystal pulled away from Todd's soft and pliant lèvres de humid just long enough to moan, "Is that the Eiffel Tower in your pants, or are you just experiencing penis ossification?" Todd laughed, and also, cried.
Suddenly, they were interrupted! The woman at the sign up table called out "Crys? Is there someone named Crys?" She looked around and saw Todd and Crystal, and remembered that Crystal had just written the letters C, R, Y, and S, in that order. She stared at the young comedian, mentally undoing her scarf. Then she asked, "Are you Crys?"
"Close. It's Crystal, but I only got halfway through writing it before I got really distracted," Crystal replied.
"I'd say you got DICKstracted," Todd chimed in, with the comedic timing of a nude Henny Youngman.
Crystal laughed, her nipples hardening like cheese left in the fridge unwrapped. She felt them poke against her clothes, like two baby chicks trying to be born right where here boobs were. Two breast chicks poking their way out of her shirt egg with their nipple beaks. Crystal squeezed her nipple beaks, pushing and pulling them like a farmer who wasn't sure whether to help the baby chicks out of the egg or suffocate them on the spot.
The open mic sign up lady watched Crystal mush her boobs all around and thought about her own boobs. Her boobs were there, on her chest, yearning for the touch of either a man or woman, really anybody with opposable thumbs. She began to sweat under her nurse's costume, a costume she wore to run an Open Mic sign up at a comedy club because it totally made sense, that's why. The nurse's crotch began to get hot and approachable. She began to roll up her skirt to expose it to some nice dry air so that it could evaporate, because it was moist with wetness. Crystal noticed the effect she was having on the sexual nurse and also Todd, who had forgotten to say anything for a while because he was trying to think of a follow-up pun. But now his eyes were fully focused on Crystal and then also on this other lady, her name didn't matter, because it was looking like two chicks might start doing at it.
Next time on ChuckleSluts: Are Two Chicks Going to Doing At It?
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