July 20th, 1969: the astronauts of Apollo 11 landed on the moon. But we're not here to talk about what happened on that famous Sunday. We're here to get the scoop on the poop on the not-quite-as-famous Friday before.
Read more after the jump.... to SPAAAAAAAACE!
THAT TIME THOSE GUYS LANDED ON THE MOON
That was totally the Constitution and so you know that I, like any good, highly-paid historian (always researching history from behind the wheel of my BENTLEY), am telling the documented truth. So anyway, these super-religious astro-men realized that they would be landing on the moon on a Sunday. A SUNDAY! How is an astro-man supposed to go to church when he's on the moon?!? Houston, we have a spiritual problem! A Constitutional crisis, even! John Jay was rolling over in his grave like some sort of upset rotisserie chicken!
So what were the boys to do? Well my friends, luckily there is a little thing called "Storefront night church." No need to worry about making it to church on a Sunday; these churches are constantly open! I drive by these churches all the time and no matter the day of the week, there are worshipers gathering, swaying in time to the Godly sounds of some incomprehensible religious shit. It's probably a a holdover from the days when the building was a store. Like, maybe the lease specifies that the building has to be open during normal retail hours or something, I dunno.
Religiously fulfilled, the men of Apollo 11 left their Friday church and went straight to the launching sight to board the rocket ship that would famously carry them to the moon. Yes the rocket launched on a Friday and landed on a Sunday, I'm definitely sure that that's physically possible and no I don't need to look it up. Citations are for losers.
That's the story of the Friday before the moon landing. Of course there are people who claim that the Friday before the moon landing was faked, that the storefront church was a movie set, that because of the direction of the wind that day the church flag would have been flying a different direction, etc. But don't worry. Buzz Aldrin punched all of those guys in the face.