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"an anne frank diary in a lisa frank notebook"
- plato

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i AM A sUCCESSFUL pERSON wHOSE mIND IS ON THE rIGHT tRACK

1/5/2016

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I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the film How the West Was Fun. 
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"Inordinate" is probably an appropriate way to describe any amount of time spent thinking about the film How the West Was Fun. I mean, maybe not for anyone who is a preteen girl in the 1990's, or receiving residual checks from performing in the film, or who has a Korsakoff's-like brain disorder that keeps them tragically frozen in time as a preteen girl in the 1990's. 

I'm not a preteen, it's 2016, so far I only get residuals from The Brittany Murphy Story, and I am pretty sure I don't have brain damage. So I don't meet the criteria of "person for whom it is reasonable to think about a semi-obscure* Olsen twins movie". The weirdest thing is that I have never even seen it. I was too old to catch the Olsen twins fever that felled a nation weakened by years of exposure to TGIF.  I watched Full House like millions of other idiots, but never understood why a snot-gurgling toddler garbling "You got it, dude" was cute in any way. I identified more with Stephanie Tanner, who was probably supposed to fulfill the role of "cute kid with wacky catch phrase" on the show, but got edged into Forgotten Middle Child as soon as those dumb babies grew up and started jabberin' their sound-holes. But I digress. The point is that I think about this movie a lot. And through all that a-ruminatin' an' a-broodin' I kept returning to might be the most important question before the American people:

Have the Olsen Twins ever played characters whose mother is alive?

Their breakout role, of course, was before they could even talk, as the progeny of Danny Tanner and some dead woman. In Two of a Kind, they were sisters constantly pushing their widowed dad into the arms of their Sarah McLachlan-esque babysitter. And, according to Wikipeida, the plot of How The West Was Fun is spurred by a letter... from their dead mother? Or from their alive grandmother about their dead mother? It doesn't matter and I'm not going back to look. 

If modern life has taught many two things, it's 1) don't be afraid to ask for help and 2) crowdsource it, B! So I posed the question on various social media sites. Some diehard fans and parents-of-diehard fans reported that there were some other films, the names of which I can't remember. So it sounds like I have a budding research project on my hands, AKA a reason for the season! YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWW!

On a related note, this is the greatest plot summary I have ever seen. Uh, spoiler alert, I guess:
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​That'll do, Wikipedia user Olsentwinluv4ever. That'll do. 
​
*Is this movie semi-obscure? I really don't know. It's the only one I know the title of by heart, but I know they had one about witches or some shit that I think was more popular. 
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