1.Gay-orge Washington
2. John Adams: Loser
3. Thomas Heiferson
4. James Mad Pussy Disease
5. James Morone
6. John Adams
7. Andrew "Likes it in the Back, son" Jackson
8. Martin "Windowless Rape" Van Buren
9. Thirty Day Willie
10. John Tinker Tyler Soldier Spy
11. James K. Puke
12. Zachary Taylor Went to Baylor
13. Millard Fillmore Buttholes
14. Franklin Pierced Lung
15. James Pube-cannon
16. Abraham Stinkin'
17. Don Johnson
18. Ulysses Ass Pant
19. Rubberturd B. Gays
20. James Fartfield
21. Chest-hair Bea Arthur
22. Groper Cleveland
23. Hentai-fan Harrison
24. Back for more? OK then! Boner Cleveland
25. Will-him My Kidney (because McKinley notoriously hated both organ donation AND filtration)
26. Theodore Boobs-were-felt
27. William Howard Fat
28. Woody Willie
29. Warren G Hard-on
30. Calvin Poo-lidge
31. Her-butt Pooper
32. Wheels
33. Furry? Yes! True, Man
34. Dwight D. Doesn't-shower
35. The President with the Convertible Skull
36. Lickin' Boys' Johnsons
37. Dick Nix
38. Gerald Can't A-Ford Lunch Today
39. Jimmy Farter
40. Raw-balled Rogaine
41. Engorged Bush
42. America's Most-Loved Sax Offender
43. Engorged DOOOUBLE Bush
44. Buttcrack Obama
BONUS GERMAN CHANCELLOR NICKNAME:
Angela Merkin