I've gone ahead and complied some of my "FW", also known as my "Finest Work." So if any products happen to be reading this blog, pay attention! You could have your mind blown right out of your head if you're not careful.
The brilliant slogans are all after the jump, because you should always have to work for it.
Divided Into Categories Somewhat Arbitrarily
Wal-Mart: Spend Less. Weep More.
Snickers: Because You Have Always Wanted to Eat the Concept of Cruel Laughter
Toyota Camry: It's Like Driving a Potato!
Spanx: For The Distinguished Lady Who Wants to Feel Like a Sausage
Hot Pockets: Now 10% More Food-esque!
Jagermeister: She Can't Say No (Because She's Unconscious)
Science Diet Dog Food: At Least Your Dog Won't Be Fat
AARP: We Don't Pronounce the Acronym as it Sounds Like Death Gasps
Sprite: The Albino Soda
A FEW MORE
Globes: They're Round Maps!
Hats: Goes on Your Head- Not THAT One!
California: One Better Than Calithreenia
Macaroni: It Will Silence Your Awful Children One Way or Another
Flash Drives: Not What It Meant in the 80's
Hoodies: The Fabric Hug You'll Never Get From Your Parents
Condoms: Goes on Your Head- Not THAT One!