DENIAL
This stage includes feelings of shock, numbness, and disbelief at Shia LeBoeuf. You make statements such as "There is no way he is livetweeting his acid trip," and "It can't possibly be true that, after all the shit he's talked on Hollywood film making, he still gets to star in a major motion picture alongside Kate Mara and Gary Oldman." While this phase may seem detrimental to processing our Shia LaGrief, it can help protect us from becoming overwhelmed. A sign that you may be moving out of this phase: asking questions like "Why is this guy even a thing?"
ANGER
Anger can be a difficult and embarrassing emotion, but it is a natural part of the Shia LaGrieving process. Anger can take many forms. You may express anger at your loved ones, threatening them with bodily harm if they ever play that fucking Sigur Ros video in your presence. You may become angry at the world or at God, demanding to know what sort of asshole spends $25,000 on skywriting, anyway. No matter where it is directed, anger is a natural part of the experience of Shia LaGrief that should not be repressed or bottled up. Just saying "I'm angry at that little butt-licker" can help you heal.
BARGAINING
With bargaining, there is a sense that you want things back the way they used to be. It is a way to keep focused on the past or future so that you don't have to deal with the emotions of the present. Perhaps you find yourself saying "If only we could get the Shia that starred in three laugh-filled seasons of Even Stevens back," or "I would do ANYTHING to cut off that stupid braided rat tail."
DEPRESSION
ACCEPTANCE
Many people think that "acceptance" means we are cured of our Shia LaGrief. But this isn't the case at all. Even under a paper bag, Shia will always be with us. Acceptance simply means that we are ready to move on to a new existential buffoon.
CONCLUSION
Understanding the five stages of Shia LaGrief can help us navigate our feelings during difficult times and realize that we are not alone. These feelings and experiences are normal. I wish you good luck on your journey!