So anyway, I was typing "Breaking Bad" into Netflix's search field. Yeah, I could probably just bookmark it, or click on the Recently Watched icon that makes it play instantly but what if that's not the episode I want to watch, I dunno, shut up. And as it turns out, once you type B and R into the search field, Netflix has all kinds of helpful guesses as to what you want to watch. Breakout Kings? it asks. Brad Pitt? Bratz: Super Babyz? Bratz Kidz: Fairy Tales? Bratz Kidz: Sleep-Over Adventure?
If you notice a pattern here, pat yourself on the fucking back, bro! In fact, roughly 90% of the search results are fine examples of cinema from the production company that clearly has a major financial stake in the colon. How else would you explain titles like Bratz: Babyz: Shopping Listz: Milk, Diaperz, Eggz: Organik?
This is probably a good time for you to stop reading the blog entry. There's nothing else of any interest in the remaining text, and there are certainly no embarrassing admissions that one particular film titled Bratz: Babyz: The Movie caught my attention to the point that I almost watched it instead of Breaking Bad. I mean, with a title like that, it's probably the first one in the series. You don't want to dive into Bratz: Super Babyz without establishing a relationship with and investing in the babyz that will eventually become super.
As I contemplated live streaming a cartoon meant for pre-teens starring diapered mutants with freakishly large eyes, it occurred to me that I was part of a very rare (and likely uncoveted) demographic of people who will watch Breaking Bad who will also watch Bratz. So if anyone wants to help me develop a series about diapered mutants with freakishly large eyes who lead a startling double life in the underground drug trade, then I would love to talk to you about Bratz: Babyz: Meth Dealerz.